Look at this and guess what it is (hint—it’s not a penguin, it’s not a banana peel, and it’s not a flower).
Have you guessed yet? Seriously, guess.
“I want to get that image out,” says Seattle artist Lynn Schirmer. She was sitting in her loft in the Tashiro Kaplan Building the other day, drinking tea. “I want everybody everywhere to know what that shape is.”
That shape is a human clitoris. If what you see when you close your eyes and picture a clitoris is merely a nubby button, then (A) you are normal, and (B) you are wrong. The nubby button is connected to a neck the size of the first joint of your thumb, and stretching from that neck are two arms that flare like a wishbone—arms that can be as long as three-and-a-half inches. The two bulbs that also extend from the center, which make the clitoris look like a penguin, were thought to belong to the vagina until recently. In the 1990s, Australian urologist Helen O’Connell “initiated the mainstream medical profession’s rediscovery” of the clitoris, Schirmer says, “and it took until just a few years ago to see it fully mapped via MRI and other noninvasive imaging technologies.” The result? The discovery that the clitoris has 10 times more erectile tissue than anatomy textbooks or the illustrations at the doctor’s office show.
From In Her Pants, by Jen Graves
I actually knew that was a clitoris the instant I saw it … whoops
IT LOOKS LIKE LUGIA OMG
I forgot how to do sex.
Today I watched, among other things, I Love You Beth Cooper, The Girl Next Door, and Easy A.
In the first, Hayden Panettiere makes out with a party store clerk for free beer because She Is A Free Spirit. She is okay with it, because She Is A Free Spirit and also because of free beer. But then, later, Skinny Boy That She Will Inevitably See For His Heart of Gold looks at her and says, “You are better than that.”
You are better than that.
And then she got all teary-eyed and serious-faced like oh skinny dude, you have a heart of gold. By telling me what my body is and isn’t good for, I can tell that you know The Real Me, and I am not really a Free Spirit Who Likes Free Beer And/Or Sex. I am a sweet girl. I am better than that.
The Girl Next Door could be titled Successful Porn Start Saved By a High School Dude Who Likes To Speak For Her. The trope takes pretty much any form imaginable in this movie:
- When the skinny dude finds out that Elisha Cuthbert is/was a porn star, he is mean to her and takes her to a motel to take advantage of her. When he realizes that that is a bad idea, he decides he no longer wants to have sex with her because you cannot like someone and also have sex with them.
- He also shows up to her lucrative porn convention in order to yell at her and tell her that she is very unhappy, and he can tell that she is not where she belongs. And she, of course, doesn’t say anything. Then he tells her producer that she is not happy, and no one asks her anything, and anyway she cries or something and shows up at his house the next day in jeans after skipping out on a $30,000 shoot.
You could say there is a version of You Are Better Than That in Easy A in that the entire film is Olive reiterating that she is not, in fact, a slut. But really, You Are Better Than That is only truly in action when it’s uttered by a man. But have no fear! In the end, the only guy who Really Likes Her is the one who believes that she would not really have sex (and he knows this because she would not kiss him when they were twelve, or something). He knows her, obviously. (via feministfilm)
Gosh, don’t you just love that line?
I’m waiting for someone to say that to me so I can say “Mmmm yes, I am so much better than wanting for fuck your brains right here this very moment. I can’t do that… because I’m a good person.”
It pretty much changes if it’s them that you’re wanting to have sex with… which I wouldn’t because you pretty much messed that up. Yo heart ain’t made of no gold, it’s made of DOOKIE.
